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“The Fluffer” – Scandal (review)

See. Scandal is gonna do one of two things.  It’s either gonna kill me by way of heart/panic attack or maybe extreme anxiety, or it’s gonna make me an alcoholic cause the number of bottles needed to successfully make it through a show without scenario one happening….

– ABBY!! This opening scene….YASSSS! To everything! Hair! Coat! The struggle to walk like Olivia Pope! Yas!

– Whew! Y’all remember those floppy disks!?

– Liv said he got her info from her father and Huck was like…

He was GONE.

– Um. Andrew. Sir. Talking to Mellie? In the middle of the hallway? Professing your love? Not right now. Just..not right now.

– This girl Jeannine? With this book? She’s gonna die.

– “What service am I billing you for today?” – Oh, Sis. SIS.

– Fitz told Liv she’s being petty. LMAO!!!

– Oh Quinn is gonna try it with Mama Pope? She’s definitely gonna die.

-This girl in the red dress. Claire, I think? This lisp. 

– Chile if they were trying to make this real they would’ve had Liv in a scarf with her hair wrapped in that bed. We don’t sleep like that.  And I blame tv for letting the mens think that we go to bed with our hair all out. We don’t. Liv is lying to you.

– Welp. I was wondering who was gonna read Liv this episode. Cyrus just did a light read. Girl you can’t sleep on the job cause your boyfriend yelled at you. Tuh.

– Um Fitz? But why does Andrew have to stop sleeping with your wife? I’m confused.

– Liv and this extra movement of the mouth. It’s getting worse. 🙁

– Why does everybody talk so damn fast on this show!? Even ole dude’s wife up in the clink.

– Huck basically told Liv to go hoe…like she normally does. OOP!

– WHEW! Mellie’s feet are ROUGH!!

– Why is Mellie acting shocked that Fitz threw those ties on the flo!?

– OH SHAT!!!!!!! MAMA POPE JUST DONE STROLLED UP IN THE RESTAURANT!?!? Y’all Liv looked like she was about to pass out at that table.

– Claire is dead. Ok.

– So Mama Pope is Satan. Ok.

– Olivia Pope is gonna end up needing electroconvulsive therapy for real. Next season they gotta show her going to get counseling cause…

– “YOU TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!!!!” – YASSSSSSSS MELLIE!!!!!!! I’m here for it. Y’all see the look on his face after that slap! Look. Mellie reached back to the start date of feminism and put the entire plight of women who have suffered from double standards behind that slap.  In fact. Let’s watch again, shall we?

Whew!

OH WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

-SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!

– OHHHHHHHHHHHHH JAKE!? HE CHOKED HER!!!!!!!!!!!! ANNNNNNNND had a gun on Huck!? AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!?

Y’ALL! WTH!?!?!?!?

………

Listen. No words.

P.S. Quinn gotta die.