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Just a few thoughts….

1.  Every single bathroom everywhere should come with the moist toilet wipes as an option. Every single one.

2.  Why do criminals trip about the death penalty?  They would rather spend their entire life locked up?  Nope.  I’d be like, “Cool, can we schedule this for next week?”

3.  Why do we (Christians) say, “I could’ve been dead and in my grave but I’m alive and etc etc etc?”  Isn’t that the point?  To die and live with Jesus forever and ever amen?

4.  Never ever put carbonated water (or any other carbonated drink, I guess) in a bottle with a spout and then close said spout.  And DEFINITELY don’t open that spout to drink said carbonated drink while driving. I’m just trying to help.

5.  Every single vending machine should come with a card swiper thingie.  Why hasn’t this happened?  It’s 2014.  I don’t understand.

6.  I just read that Charlie Baltimore is nominated for a BET Award.  And I know it’s the BET Awards so expectations should be very low, but I mean this is even ridiculous for them.

7. Ladies, I beg of you, PLEASE stop walking out the house with hair bonnets on.  I sometimes understand the scarfs.  But a full out bonnet?  Come on.  Then sometimes y’all have the nerve to have them in different colors. I just can’t.

8.  Have y’all seen that article or whatever that says we’ve been pooping all wrong?  That we should actually be squatting on the toilet to poop?  I think I’m gonna do a social experiment and let y’all know how that goes.  Don’t hold me to that though

.

9.  So the other day I was walking by the stairs at my job and I heard a “OHH!” and a thump.  I looked over the rail to see a kid laying on the flat part between flights like this:

LMAO.  I’m only laughing because 1. I asked him if he was okay and he said yeah, and 2. he then got up and started playing on the stairs again and almost died again.

10. Do any of you watch The Young and the Restless?  They get on my nerves.  Like all of my nerves.  And I don’t even watch any scene with Sharon anymore.  This woman has burned a house down, put a woman in a coma, and I’m sure she committed other felonies I can’t think of and she continues to walk around free living on the property of the man she married and his father…who she also married.  I can’t.

11. Being introduced to The Sims Freeplay has been nothing short of glory for me. Candy Crush who?

12. I put candy and mints out for people who come in my office but then it annoys me when they take too many.  I had this dude continue to take multiple chocolate nuggets.  And they are the good chocolate nuggets too! He was all like, “I’m sorry I keep eating your candy but it’s just so good and chocolate is my favorite.”  Ugh.  Have some couth.

13. Stop falling for the Herbalife swindle and learn how to eat.

14.  Speaking of which, I’ve been trying to lose 10 lbs for the past 3 years.  This has been unsuccessful.  In fact, it’s been more than unsuccessful. Seeing as though not only did I NOT lose that weight but instead GAINED, I would call that an epic failure.

15.  This happened.

 

And I’m just like…

And…

16.  OMG this “On The Run” Tour is about to give me all of my life.  ALL OF MY LIFE!!! *squeals in excitement* Just look… Media preview

UGH!!! SHE DISGUSTS ME WITH HOW MUCH SHE MAKES ME LOVE HER!!!!!

TAKE THESE EDGES, BEY!!! TAKE THEM!

17.  Crawfish season is almost over and I think I’m going to fall into a slight depression?

18. Bow Wow said that after the BET Awards he will no longer go by “Bow Wow,” but by whatever his real name is instead.  I think it’s Shad something.  

LOL.

Okay, Bow Wow.  You were lucky we dropped that “Lil.”

19. I can’t explain my affection for McDonald’s. I don’t care how many stories/pictures of pink mush y’all put up, I’m going. Period.

(And on that note, these fast food places really gotta chill with trying to make their food “healthy.”  Like, lower calorie/fat french fries, Burger King?  For what?  If I were really trying to be healthy I’m not going to be eating french fries in the first place? Stop it.)

20. WHATEVER you do, DO NOT Google image search “Fournier.”  

DO.

NOT.

DO.

IT.

Fin.

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