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Keeping Secrets From Your Spouse: Is There Ever A “Good” Reason?

One of the morning shows I listen to is 104.1 KRBE “The Roula and Ryan Show.”  They have a couple of segments that can get really really good.  One of those is “Roula and Ryan’s Roses.”  This is where one party of a couple calls the show, and asks them to call their significant other and offer them free roses.  What happens is that Roula (usually) acts like she’s calling for a new flower company who is running a promotion.  They ask the person on the phone who they would like to send a FREE arrangement of a dozen roses to, and then to get everything clear, they ask what it is they want them to write on the card that will be sent with said roses.

This morning I am assuming it was the “Roses” segment I caught. I have to assume because I came in at the tail end.  This is what ended up happening.

A wife (Veronica) called in and wanted the show to call the husband because he’d been MIA lately and she tracked his phone which constantly led him to a hospital.  So she thought he was cheating on her.

Well.  The show called the husband (Paul).  I have NO idea how the roses came out, but it turns out that Paul was going to the hospital so much because he was taking his mom (Lisa) to deal with a serious medical issue that she (Lisa) asked him to keep private because she was embarrassed about it.   Turns out Lisa was right there next to Paul and hopped on the line..and SHE. WENT. IN. ON. VERONICA.  Two scathing comments she made to Veronica was:

“You don’t deserve to have children.  Not if you’re going to treat them and not trust them like you’re showing with my son.” <— Veronica went ABSOLUTELY silent.

“My son deserves better than you.”

OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. OUCH.

So then Paul got back on the line and said now he’s in a terrible position. He “had” to keep this from Veronica because his mom was embarrassed at her medical situation and asked him not to tell.  Now his mother and his wife are going to be at odds and he’s extremely frustrated.  Ryan (I think) asked Veronica why she didn’t just ask Paul if he was cheating on her.  She said she needed evidence (which is what she was supposed to get from “Roses”).

My Response

1.  If, at any point, you are calling a RADIO STATION to get in the middle of your marriage and try to get your spouse caught up?  That’s already a wrap ma’am. Like, no. Trickery and playing games? It serves for my entertainment (and trust me, it gets OH. SO. GOOD.), ESPECIALLY when someone gets caught up, but as for indications of a healthy marriage?  NOPE.

Side note: Bruh.  On “Roses” on Friday, the wife called in, and the husband sent his roses to another woman (Amanda) and the card said something like, “I love you and so glad we’re together” or whatever.  Guys.  THE WIFE WAS CRUSHED.  She had a complete emotional breakdown on the radio.  It was so sad.  He basically told her he was leaving her and the kids for Amanda and that was that.  It was Mother’s Day weekend 

Another side note: Another segment is “Revenge.” The sister of the wife who called in, got revenge on the soon to be ex husband by getting in contact with Amanda’s HUSBAND (sister found out she was married too) and telling him everything.  The husband cut a business trip short and was on his way back to Houston to deal with it. Soon to be ex husband got PISSED and told the sister that she had just ruined EVERYTHING.  It was wonderful. 

2. Paul’s mother (Lisa) was out of line and Paul was a complete idiot. When you are married, your WIFE is your family as well.  You are to put her above all others! Am I right?  So Lisa put him in a TERRIBLE position by asking him to keep a secret from his wife, ESPECIALLY if it includes him being missing at home.  Absolutely not.  And Paul was the idiot for not letting him mom know that he would HAVE to share what was going on WITH. HIS. WIFE.

He didn’t have to share the specifics of the situation, but he should’ve said SOMETHING.  Was Veronica mature in her reaction? No. Absolutely not.  This is your HUSBAND.  But Paul is not in the right either.

Another example of the necessity of REALLY understanding what MARRIAGE means. SMH

What do you think?

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