Ladies, If He’s For You, He’ll Be Just That

It may sound simple, almost like common sense, but if you’re anything like me you’ve caught yourself crushing (or more) on some guy who simply just isn’t that into you.

This doesn’t have to be a major act on your part either.  But you may find yourself liking him just enough to drive you crazy.  Hoping every text/call is from him.  Trying to do little things to catch his attention on social media.  Send out hints with long wordy posts on Instagram.  Hoping to “accidentally” run into him. Oh wait…y’all have never done these things?  Oh.  Me either.


Anyway, my message to you, to US, is really in two parts.

If he’s yours, he’ll notice you…just as you are.

Aren’t you tired of trying to *get* the attention of some man?  Dressing a certain way, plotting to be where he is (even though he could’ve invited you if he wanted you there), transforming yourself to put on the show of what you think he’ll like?  Again, as grown women this doesn’t present itself as blatantly obvious as it did when we were teens.  But there are those little subtle things.  Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dressing cute.  But sometimes y’all do too much.  Everybody else is laid back and casual in jeans and tennis and you can’t even chill hard cause your skirt is too short and your feet hurt from the heels. Girl. No.

My advice is to just be you.  Of course, you want to present the best you that you can to possible interests. But, aren’t they going to have to know the real you sooner than later anyway?  I’ve known women who were approached by doing something as simple as grocery shopping.  The one person I’m thinking about right now was casual, makeup free, and minding her own business when the man of her dreams walked right on up to her.

PLEASE believe me when I say this. You WILL NOT have to plot, plan, scheme, or manipulate a man into noticing/liking you.  And if that IS what it takes, then what’s the point?  If a man sees something he likes, he knows how to gather more information.  Just be….you.

If he’s yours, he isn’t already in another relationship.

The man for you isn’t married.  He isn’t in a committed relationship.  Period.  You, as a single, available, unattached woman deserve a single, available, unattached man.  You DESERVE that.

I don’t care HOW unhappy he is in his marriage.  I don’t care that he’s decided to take some time apart and is separated (which means he’s STILL married).  I don’t care if his girlfriend gets on his nerves and he’s thinking about breaking up with her.  NONE of that has ANYTHING to do with your single, available, and unattached self.  Don’t you let ANY attached man get close to you.  Physically OR emotionally.

YOUR man WILL BE single, available, and unattached. Believe that.  And if you’re currently in a situation with a man who isn’t ALLLLLL three of those things, break it off.  And I mean right now.  You don’t deserve that. His wife/girlfriend just may be the meanest, laziest, filthiest bish in all the land.  But guess what?  SHE. IS. STILL. HIS. WIFE/GIRLFRIEND.  No.  There are no exceptions.  Leave that attached and unavailable man alone, girl.

Actually, why would you want to be with someone who isn’t man enough to deal with relationship issues and make a concrete decision anyway? Tuh.

That’s it.  That’s basically my point.  Again, I know it may seem like common sense, but if we aren’t careful, we’ll find ourselves making little exceptions and HUGE excuses for these men.  NOPE.  Cause trust me, if he’s for YOU, he’ll be just that!


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