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Porsha Williams Reveals Physical Abuse In Marriage

Porsha Williams spoke with Access Hollywood today about her new single and revealed physical abuse within her marriage to Kordell Steward. When I saw this the ONLY thing that came to my mind was the fact that I am not surprised.  Like, at all.

Abuse. Physical abuse.  Yeah. There were several different occasions that this happened. When you’re in an abusive situation, it kind of just builds, and it starts to get worse and worse. And people ask me, ‘why didn’t you tell anybody or call the police?’ or what have you. I just thought that I could make it better. I honestly thought after each situation that I would change this or I would change that, and therefore the outcome wouldn’t be the same. It doesn’t work like that.

I’m still realizing now that a lot of what happened, it wasn’t my fault.

{via Necole Bitchie}

Unfortunately, Porsha’s response is one that is very common for women in domestic violence situations

When we were going through the divorce process, we had to sit in deposition hearing, and he didn’t deny it. A lot of women who are in situations like I was in, I wanted to make it better. I was praying every day. I was cooking. I was smiling. The outside appearance was as if nothing was happening. Even though you’re being abused, you still love that person, you’re just trying to love them through it. And you’re trying to pray them through it and you’re not realizing that you can’t change a person, they have to change themselves.

I never went to the hospital. I never reported anything. There were [visible injuries], but I’ll tell you the ones that have stuck with me the most is the mental abuse. I had so much pride in being a wife and being a mother and what that meant to me was big. So for me to be told I was lazy, and that I was stupid and that I wasn’t good enough and that nothing I could do was right, that was really, really hard for me…When someone is constantly ridiculing you, I’m always trying to live up to what that person thinks of me, it’s hard.

If you watched the show then you know that Porsha took her role as a wife very seriously.  You could tell that she took pride in being a good wife, and hopefully someday a good mother.

We were a married couple so of course we had sex, if that’s what you are asking, but it did change. But when you are in a relationship and someone is being controlling and they are using that as power; they will use money, they will use sex, they will use anything to make you feel as though you aren’t worthy of better. And for me in the marriage, I thought I had no self worth. It wasn’t until I got out of the marriage that I realized that I am very valuable, I bring a lot to the table, I’m smart, beautiful and I am a great wife and I’ll never accept that again. EVER.

 

I’m glad that she has realized her worth!  Again, this situation is NOT surprising to me.  Not at all. The more Kordell talked, the more you could tell that he is one of those men who felt entitled and who more than likely treated Porsha like property. I can’t really put my finger on it, but there was just something there that screamed “something ain’t right.” That, plus the way Porsha was overselling their marriage was a huge red flag that something was terribly wrong.

But you know what the crazy thing is?  Even after he kicked her out, she was still in that office with the lawyer trying to work it out.

Ladies, a man who puts his hands on you is not a display of love.  Ever. It’s not.  Know that.