1. Sally needs to get her a man.
  2. Liv’s gown! OMGGGGGGGGGGGG I. LOVE. IT. And her hair!? SLAY!
  3. When Liv walked in that bedroom wearing Fitz’ t-shirt? Girl.
  4. OMG THE PRINCESS!!! Okay, so I see we’re just gonna hop right on into this, huh?
  5. The prince did it. (I typed this 14 minutes in LOL)
  6. Oh man. Liv is brilliant. Those pictures are (disturbingly) brilliant.
  7. I’m sorry, Mellie doesn’t understand what has happened? Your husband doesn’t want you, Sis. He has LITERALLY kicked you out. You gotta just kinda keep it moving, know what I mean?
  8. Look at Lizzie reading Mellie. “You don’t matter to me. And you also don’t matter to the most powerful man on the face on the earth. But guess who does? ME. I’m his Chief of Staff.” BISHHHHH! YES MA’AM LIZZIE!!! She told Mellie that Fitz can’t be at her “little” swearing in. LORDT.


9. Wait. Mellie has a dent in her chin! And it moves! Has this always been there?

10. WHOA!!!! Fitz hit Mellie with divorce papers! AND he threatened her! *pours first glass of wine* “Your biggest accomplishment so far is waving and smiling.” <—- SHAT!!!!! MY CHEST!

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11. Wait. Soooo a married man is trying to divorce his wife and the mistress isn’t jumping up and down for joy??

12. Up until now, no sign of Cyrus (35 minutes in). Hm.

13. Hm. Well. Fitz gathered Liv right on up too, huh?

14. Poor Huck!

15. Oh. Here’s Cyrus. And Mellie’s strange hair?

16. Mellie’s tears? I don’t trust those hoes.

17. Oh wait. The queen did it! *pours second glass of wine* “She had one job. To give us an heir.” WELP!

18. Liv doesn’t understand this whole diplomatic immunity thing, huh? “I AM justice.” Whew.

19. “The next time I will be able to even tolerate the sight of you, will be at your funeral.” LOOK. RICHARD GATHERED HIS MAMMY RIGHT ON UP!

20. THERE’S JAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was JUST about to ask where he was, too!

21. “I’m sorry you had a bad day at work. I had a good one.” – Oh, Liv. But I mean, yeah.

22. See, Liv is confusing as fawk. This man is trying to go public, the RIGHT way (finally), and she’s talking about slowing down? What? You’ve been carrying on a relationship with this married man for YEARS and NOW you want to slow it down? When it’s on the verge of legitimacy? Somebody, help me.

23. Abby looked at Liv like she could slit her throat on sight.

24-25!!!!!!!!! OH SHAT!!!!!!! THERE ARE PICTURES!?!?!?! *finishes bottle*

But wait. They HAVE to know that there are cameras EVERYWHERE in the dayum WHITE HOUSE, right!? Like…come on.

Well! We’re back in full swing, guys! Did you enjoy this episode!? I did!!! Ready for the season! FALL TV BACK!

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