Well.  I hadn’t watched Scandal “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” yet, but then I saw this on Facebook:

So yeah.  Here we go.

– Oh. So. James is dead. Ok.

– Look at how Cyrus looked James up and down (multiple times) when he first met him.

– Liv calling Jake talking about her suspicions on James’ death. Ma’am. WAKE UP. Jake is RUNNING B6-13.  I mean…. ugh.

– Ohhhh is Huck about to find out about Quinn!? PLEASEEEEE Huck find out about Quinn!  Although you should’ve just killed her the first damn time.

– Oh. Mama. Pope.

– Liv.  How about you leave Jake alone. And again..WAKE. UP.

– I can’t help this.  But when Jake screamed, “I’m different!!!” The ONLY thing that happened with me was:

But then I saw:

Okay.  Focus, Tash.

– “What.”

“Hello, Olivia, what do you want.” – I STILL can’t figure out why she talks her to dad anymore. He is clearly not here for her. LOL

– These cameras are moving all kinds of strategic ways to hide Kerry’s belly. LOL

– Oh, Mellie. You just won’t learn.

-UH OH. Mellie’s drinking.

– YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MELLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m here for it! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Finally! WHEW!

– HUCK!?!?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. WON’T. YOU. JUST. KILL. HER!?!?!?!?

– WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. Huck. WTF!? You’ve came to kill her and end up…KISSING her!? What in the world is going on!?  I can’t keep going through this. I can’t.  I NEED Quinn to die. And I NEED Huck to do this…slowly. Her death MUST be dragged out for like, 5 episodes.  That will bring me extreme amounts of pleasure. Yes.

– OHHHH BISH.  When Quinn SPIT on him!?  He definitely shoul’ve ripped her tongue out.  Definitely.

– “My David” – How cute, Abby. 🙂

– James and Cyrus dancing.  SAAAAAAAAANG  GLADYS!!!!!!!

One word: #Scandal lol

— Gladys Knight (@MsGladysKnight) March 21, 2014

 – Cyrus made me cry. Like, real tears.

– OMG. This scene with James!!!!!!!!!!!

I. HATE. JAKE.

So I see Shonda is trying to kill people with Scandal, huh? Okay, girl! Anyway, let’s get into it.

– Mellie’s hair sure is high and stiff in this first scene.

– Liv is … LAUGHING … about people being … murderers? Who ARE these people?

– Liv quit again? Oh.

– So Kerry Washington has started moving her mouth all extra again.

– Jake put Quinn on the phones. I guess that’ll work for now. Or.  He could have her killed.  That would work for me as well.

– “If you get drunk tonight I’m going to take advantage of you” – Jake “K!” – Me

– This guilty conscience on Sally is a mutha, ain’t it!?

– Excuse me, did he just say to kill SALLY!?  Oh come on.  That is stupid.  Wait…unless they make it look like a suicide.  That could work…

– “You’re small. And while I would love to explain to you how the world really works, I don’t have the time, and you won’t understand” – Jake to Cyrus

– “God said nothing. Silently condemning him, His own son.” – THAT’S BIBLE, SALLY!!!!!

– UGH! WHYYYY does Jake continue to let Liv do this to him?

– Oh wait.  Jake likes Quinn?  Do I have to wish death on Jake, as well!?

– Sally on the floor, before this debate, in this suit, praying, is bout to kill me.

– OHHHHH SHAT! Cyrus found the bug.  Buh-bye, James.

– These people can’t have regular conversations.  Always gotta talk fast and all hard and such. It’s exhausting.

– Bruh.  Liv and Fitz have no scruples.  Kissing and such all in front of the open window.

– WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!??????????????????????

Wait…

But….

Jake?

WUT.

I’m late.  I know it.  But, it’s been SO. BUSY.  Hopefully you guys will forgive me? Please?  In the meantime, lemme get to typing…

– Olivia and Fitz are arguing again. Oh.

– Sorry, Liv.  But you don’t get to argue and assert that you are a “prize” while getting dressed from having sex with the married man  you’re having an affair with.

– Arguing about Jake as he is standing right outside the door?

– Okay.  This scene from 14 years ago.  Why couldn’t Fitz figure out that there was something TERRIBLY wrong? Is he that blind?  Well, I guess, yeah…but still…

– I’m getting irritated at not getting the entire story behind Harrison.  What is going on, here?  Exactly who is he in bed with?  Is this the person he was so scared of and tried to keep them from coming into the country?

– Andrew is handsome.  Mellie is trippin.  (yes, my morals decline during the viewing of this show. deal with it)

– Oh wow.  So Andrew saved Mellie’s life.  Yeah.  She’s tripping for real.

– WHY is Cyrus so comfortable with ordering people to be killed!?

– Ok. So Daddy Pope is just gonna read Olivia in every episode.

– Okay. So Olivia is dumb AF. Telling Quinn to “come home!?” Girl BYE. Yes, B6-13 WILL destroy Quinn. But…SO? She chose this?  Let her not slick at all and keep getting caught behind get destroyed.

– “Get out of my car, or I’ll shoot you.  I’m violent now, or haven’t you heard?” – Quinn. Girl. LOLz

– “He licked me!” – Quinn  LMAOOOOOOO! Yes, Quinn. He did. And I loved it.

– I don’t know about y’all…but as. soon. as. Jake took that shirt off to take his shower I …. oh… I digress….

– So. Harrison is stupid too?  Ok.

– James is making me a nervous wreck.  I need him to calm down.  Oh.  Well I see that he has reason to be nervous.  Oh well.  He knew who he was dealing with.

– “I don’t have time.” <– How Fitz greets his WIFE.

– “Olivia is not your problem to solve. You stay away from Olivia.” <—– COME. ON.  MELLIE.  I don’t care WHO your husband is…NO. Nope. Nah. NOAP.  Nil. Uh uh. NO.

– “Mellie.  I don’t have time.” – How Fitz dismisses his WIFE.  For real, I thought he was about to say something halfway decent.

– Oh. So Mellie is an ungrateful broad. Man saves her life and she gets all snappy with him.

– OH SHYT! She told Andrew!?

– Huck and this coffee. LOL.  Oh WAIT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! Is Huck still mad at Liv? Is he poisoning her?

– “Olivia, no matter what I went through back then, no matter why, when I was faced with the choice to cheat I kept my knees together and I said no. We are not the same.” <—– WHYYYYYY does Liv set herself up like this??? Why does she continue to talk to Mellie!? Mellie STAYS reading her.

– PEOPLE. I. CAN’T. STAND. QUINN.  I just really need for her to die slow.  All cocky in this meeting with Jake. Shonda, girl, when do we get to watch Quinn die?

– YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MELLIE!!!! FINALLY! A decision of hers I COMPLETELY agree with!!!!!!!!

Wait…why is she running away? *sucks teeth*

– WHOA! He’s B6-13!?!?!?!?

– MAMA POPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aisfhaoshfOAIJWFOIAHWOFIHAWOHNEdoiandoand!!!!!!!

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So.  Scandal is back. And I would just like us all to remember that the LAST time Scandal came on Beyonce then surprised us with a history making album.  So now I’m all anxious cause what if Bey…oh…wait…I digress.*clears throat*

I wasn’t supposed to do this tonight, but for the sake of the people….here we go.

-Oh. So Fitz and Liv just don’t care anymore, huh?

-BAY-BEE. Liv’s hair is LAIIIIIIIIIIIIID!!!!

-Oh, Sally. Sis.  You just…aren’t gonna win.  But…go ahead, hun.

-Ugh. I’m SO over Fitz and his hot and cold emotions. Liv should be too.

-HI JAKE.

-Wait. So Liv likes her dad now? Oh yeah. Cause her mom is the devil too.

-Oh, James. Poor, weak, naive, will never ever learn James.

-“The married man you’re sleeping with…” <—- He just called his daughter a whore to her face. Welp!

-“Spoke to me about how you taste….” <—- Almost forgot about that. Whew! No. 

-“The devil murdered my husband. He snuck inside me.” <—- Sally. SIS.

-WHY. IS. QUINN. STILL. ALIVE!?!?!?

-She’s still seeing Charlie!?

-Oh so she’s snatching kids now, huh? Aiight, Quinn. May your death be slow and painful. Slow. And. Painful.

– Liv and these coats….and never taking them off.  LOL 🙂

– WHEW! This is the second time someone has called Liv a whore to her face in this one episode. LOL

-The only thing about this cute little lunch, Mellie, is that people read lips. So……

-WAIT. Fitz and Liv.  What is this? He JUST kicked her out his office a day ago…and now….kissing on her in the middle of a sentence (which is hot, by the way but still)….

-Uhhhh HARRISON?  Oh.  Harrison. Ok.

– Oh wait!  LOOK AT JAMES! HA!

-YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Liv!  Use Jake!  Use him in every way you….oh wait… *clears throat*  Moving right along….

-Ohhh Daddy Pope is about to fawk some ish up.

-Oh wait!? Mellie’s gonna get her a boo!? I’m here for it.  It’s bout time.

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