R. Kelly Says He’s Working on New Album, “White Panties”

Ohhhhh only if I were joking.  Only if.

You can continue to think I’m joking if you’d like, but Rolling Stone usually knows what they’re talking about:

R. Kelly’s 2013 album Black Panties debuted at No. 4 on the Billboard 200 and has gone on to sell more than 300,000 copies. In light of the album’s success, the singer told V Magazine that he is planning a sequel entitled White Panties.

Kelly was coy on details — his only admission being the vague quote, “You can expect a whole other level” — and did not divulge any album info or if White Panties would be his next album.

When asked more generally if he was compromising himself to placate to his fans, Kelly replied, “No. I always follow what my spirit tells me to do. When I get into the studio I write from my heart. I try to write life and not songs. People live life and when you write life, you’re going to mess around and touch somebody’s heart, and they’ll relate to you and what you’re singing about.”

The singer also divulged that he was recording a song with Mary J. Blige as part of the duo’s upcoming King and Queen tour and that he is hoping to do a full album with Blige. Neither Kelly nor Blige have announced specific tour dates.

And since no R. Kelly interview is complete without the inevitable “Trapped in the Closet” question, Kelly revealed that he has 57 unreleased chapters of the ongoing soap opera. “This thing is forever,” said the singer. If he can improvise songs called “Sex Dolphin” and “Italian Hero Sandwich of Love,” we probably should believe that whole “forever” thing.

White Panties.

FIFTY. SEVEN. chapters of “Trapped in the Closet.”  I didn’t make it past the second one.  Hmmm. Maybe third.


Last year, the singer detailed his thoughts behind recording Panties to Rolling Stone“I love that I can play around with all types of music,” he said. “I did Love Letter and Write Me Back and those were fun albums for me to do, because they took me back to music I love. But I wanted to change lanes with this new album and remind people of the and 12 Play style of music I can do — ‘Kellz music!’ I like that I can change lanes and do all different kinds of music. Fans can never accuse R. Kelly of doing the same thing, I keep mixing it up.”

I just want someone to let R. Kelly know that Black Panties has NOTHING on  Not even close.  I mean, went platinum FOUR TIMES.  And that is just here in the United States.  This Panties business is straining it’s neck around 300,000 (and I’m not sure if that includes outside of the US).  Come on. I should also note that I didn’t even take the time to listen to all of Black Panties.  I was so disgusted and turned off by “Cookies” until I couldn’t justify downloading purchasing the album.

Seriously?  You’re gonna eat me out like the Cookie Monster?  Have you seen how the Cookie Monster eats?

No thanks.  I’m good.

Somebody mentor R. Kelly. Oh.  And do two more things for me.

1. Read this. Read the “Stomach-Churnin” Sexual Assault Accusations Against R. Kelly in Full. <— It will make you want to throw up.  And any time I post anything about him this article WILL be included.

2.  Never forget this:

He needs help.  In a lot of ways.

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